Dr. Jennie

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The Coronavirus Pandemic: Resources & Top 10 Tips for Surviving (and even thriving?)

Jennie Trocchio

Dear Friends, Parents, and Professionals,

We are all feeling the impact of the Coronavirus pandemic. Schools are closed, we are almost all living in quarantine and we are all interacting in very different ways than we were just a few short months ago.  These changes are impacting all of us, but especially children with autism. Difficulty adapting to changes in routines, managing anxiety, and communication skills may be daily struggles for many on the spectrum when there isn’t a pandemic, so now is a particularly challenging time for them.  For parents, there are equal challenges.  Concerns around jobs, finances, taking over homeschooling, and fear of getting sick, are just a few of the new thoughts on the minds of parents and caregivers.  These struggles are real, and I feel them with you. 

While we cannot change or stop the Coronavirus Pandemic, we are in control of how we adapt to it.  Below you will find my own Top 10 Tips for adapting to the Coronavirus, along with guidance for parents, tips for talking to your children about the pandemic, links to social stories, resources to help keep kids engaged and learning while at home, as well as support for professionals and important numbers.  I hope these tools and supports will help you and your family adapt to everything that’s going on, and perhaps even support some extra fun and time for connection in the process! 

Dr. Jennie’s Top 10 Tips:

1. Focus on Feelings. This is important for both children and parents alike.  Emotional regulation underlies everything we do.  When we are feeling worried, scared, uncertain, it can be hard to focus on anything else.  These ‘big feelings’ need to be validated and we all need to feel ‘heard’ before moving onto anything else.  While none of us can ‘fix’ the current situation, we can talk through some of these anxieties and usually we feel better as a result.  Parents, you are the best models for this!  Sharing your own feelings, fears, excitements, etc. with your kids can not only provide a model for them- showing them how to talk about feelings, but you can also connect around these shared feelings during difficult times. 

2. Let kids be part of the decision-making team. Now more than ever, kids are feeling powerless.  This is never a good feeling!  Throughout a day, make sure that your kids are part of the ‘decision-making team.’  This could include giving choices about what activities to do next, involving them in the making of schedules, rules, what’s for dinner, and activities at home.  The more kids are part of these decisions, the more they will feel empowered and engaged in what they’re doing.  

3. Establish a schedule but keep it flexible! Schedules (especially visual schedules- with real life pictures) are an extremely powerful tool for individuals on the spectrum, many of whom thrive on routine and predictability.  There is a safety and comfort in knowing what is happening, how long it will last, and what will happen next. That being said, be sure to keep it flexible!  Sometimes, things will change, activities will take on a ‘life of their own’ and that’s a wonderful thing!  We we want to be flexible enough to roll with it!  Other times, the activities we have planned won’t work out. Maybe the internet went out. Maybe our science activity turned out to be a flop. It happens! Since most have a little extra flexibility when it comes to time these days, let’s use that time to be a bit more flexible! Think about the process over the product and remember that as long as there is engagement and a ‘gleam in the eye’ learning is happening! 

4. Think outside the box. Now is a great time to explore new activities that perhaps there isn’t typically time for.  Make meals together, teach chores, explore dance, drama, yoga, or to explore any other concepts that your child has shown interest in.  If there is a concept your child is having a tough time understanding in school, perhaps it becomes a family play! If you notice your child needs a little extra movement or sensory, perhaps a pillow- fight is in order.  These are unprecedented times, which gives us some freedom to explore and have fun in entirely new ways at home.

5. Establish spaces… including the outdoors! We are all in our homes more than ever before, and we may need to re-define which spaces are used for what.  For example, if your child is currently engaging in virtual school or therapy, make sure there is a designated area for this (including any and all of the supplies they may need), that is (relatively) distraction free.  Think about the different activities your child engages in and when a designated ‘area’ may be beneficial.  It may be helpful to make spaces more ‘officially designated’ by making visual signs for each area to help kids associate a given activity with the appropriate space. Also, don’t forget to use the great outdoors as a use-able space! Fresh air, room to move, and run and play is more important now than ever!  Weather permitting, try to balance outdoor space with indoor space.    

6. Schedule in Free Time! Everyone needs a break from time to time and kids are no exception. Be sure to schedule in some free time into the day.  Remember that some of the best and most creative ideas and games come out of boredom. Let kids get bored. Let their imaginations take over, let them have room to explore, and see what happens next! 

7. Focus on FUN! In most families right now, parents are home more than ever with their kiddos.  In our ‘previous lives’ (pre-Covid-19), I can’t tell you how often I heard, ‘There’s not enough time for the fun stuff!’  Now, there is!  Schedule time for fun into the day and use this rare time home together to engage and connect in ways that are fun for you and your child.  Have pillow fights, and tickle fights, play peek-a-boo and hide and go seek.  Find the fun with your child and enjoy every minute of it.  

8. Keep informed, but limit screens and news. We have all been tempted recently to over- utilize screens while in quarantine.  For parents, there is a temptation to have the news on ‘in the background’ all day, but this is not helping anyone! In fact, it is most likely adding to the ‘anxiety in the room’. Keep informed but try to keep news to a minimum.  You also want to keep your kids informed with what’s going on, without eliciting fear (see tips below for ‘Talking to your kids about Covid-19’).  Similarly, kids are now asked to be in front of screens more than ever.  Be sure to monitor screen time and be aware of your child’s emotional and physical needs during this time. If your child needs a break, needs to move, or needs to stop for the day, let them!  No one knows your child like you do, so feel free to adapt and intervene as necessary. 

9. Establish Rules. I know, I know, rules are boring!! … but they’re also really important to help keep order and set expectations.  All classrooms have rules visually posted, and that’s not a coincidence.  It’s because rules are helpful in establishing appropriate behavior in a given setting. With so much changing and uncertainty right now, rules can help provide structure and set expectations at home.  As you are thinking about rules that may be beneficial for your family, also consider how you will determine what they are, how you will teach them, and where/how you will post them.  Contrary to popular belief, rules can’t simply be written and posted.  Instead, rules should be discussed, taught (perhaps through acting them out), and reinforced in the moment. While I typically suggest no more than 5 ‘family rules’, you may find it helpful to have different rules for different times of the day or activities.  For example, you may want to have ‘rules at the dinner table,’ ‘rules for playing outside,’ or ‘rules for sharing’ (check out rules for sharing provided by the PLAY Project that may be beneficial. We don’t want to go overboard with rules but having established guidelines – decided upon by the family- can be very, very beneficial.  

 10. Parents: Take time for you!  There is a commonly used saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup,” and this is so, so true!  Parents, you need to take time for you. You need to take care of you, so you have the energy, strength, and tools to help support your child.  Do this in any and every way you can and consider adding it into your regular schedule or routine.  This time is not selfish- it is necessary time to get your own needs met so you can support your family. 

Resources:

Guidance for Parents: 

Talking to Kids about the Coronavirus

Please remember that it is critical to keep kids informed about what's going on around them.  Many children, especially those with autism spectrum disorder, can feel the nervous 'vibes' all around them, but aren't sure exactly what's happening and why, which can make the nervous and uncertain feelings that much more unsettling! It's our job (as adults, parents, therapists, and educators) to fill them in!  

Even if you're not sure they understand everything, they most likely understand a whole lot more than you think. 

“Discuss the news coverage of the coronavirus with honest and age-appropriate information. Parents can also help allay distress by focusing children on routines and schedules. Remember that children will observe your behaviors and emotions for cues on how to manage their own feelings during this time. You may want to limit how much media they consume to help keep their anxiety in check” (American Psychological Association, 2020).  

One way to help explain what’s going on right now is through the use of social stories! Social Stories are a social learning tool that helps individuals with autism or related disorders to understand a specific situation, why it happens, and how we should react in a way that is patient and respectful.  Below are some links to social stories (in both story and video format) on the topic of the Coronavirus to help kiddos to understand what's going on around them.  Feel free to explore them and find one that you think would be a good fit for your child.

Social Stories Related to the Coronavirus:

Resources for Keeping Kids Engaged and Learning with Schools Closed:

During this time of uncertainty, be sure to have plenty of time for fun quality time with your kiddos. Make sure they know that the world can feel crazy, but they are safe at home to have fun and to play! Here are some activities, videos, and programs that can bring fun and new experiences into your home with you! 

Support for Professionals:

IMPORTANT PHONE NUMBERS